For most of my life, I have been searching for that one thing that will give my life meaning. That will make me feel content and fulfilled. I am actually on the path to finding it right now. So why do I procrastinate and do everything else but that??
Time is definitely a factor. Working a 40-46 hour a week job, trying to run a small craft business, pay the bills, following my coaching appointments and do the homework, take care of the house and try to keep my husband, myself and our four fur babies sane definitely play a factor. But then I think, other people can do it, right? Then there is the saying if it is important enough you will find the time. Now I just feel guilty. How can I move beyond this?
But when it comes down to it, I let those things take up my time. Because what if I sit down to write and nothing happens? What if I cannot think of a thing to say? What if I do think of something to write but it is horrible? Or what if people find out that I cannot write at all? Finally, what if I fail? These are the thoughts that do not want to admit go through my head, the fear can sometimes be subconscious.
But then I remember something my coach said to me, which is on a sticky note right beside me. What is the worst thing that could happen? I could have a wonderful time just writing for me. I can move beyond my procrastination by just being creative and having fun. It is such a freeing thought. To not be concerned with grammar mistakes, use of passive voice, or what someone else might think and just enjoy writing.
It is strange what can occur when you stop thinking and start doing. As you get to know me you will be shocked that my fingers typed that! But that is sometimes what I need to remind myself. Time, life, and fears can all get in the way if I allow them to, I need to stay focused on my dream. I do not want to be distracted anymore. Finding my path was hard enough, to not follow it now would be inconceivable.
New goal for myself, Sunday mornings are blocked off to everything but writing.